On How I Wish You Didn’t Care So Much

Unless you are one of my friends or family members, I would prefer you not care so much about me. It would be nice if you didn’t worry so much about what I am doing.

I know sometimes you mean well. I know sometimes you think even though you don’t know me, that you know what is best. But I would prefer you didn’t worry so much about me since I am just a stranger.

For example, why are you so worried about who I marry? If I want to marry someone of the same sex, I don’t see how that affects you. We only see each other in public and never hang out. You don’t need to worry that I am choosing someone who is wrong for me. I have wonderful people in my life who have stopped me from making bad choices in the past. I am sure if I were to decide on a partner that was not good for me, they would let me know. You don’t have to be worried I will invite you to the wedding and you will be forced to get me a gift. We don’t know each other; I am not so presumptuous as to think you would want to come. So why don’t you let those who want to see me stand before them and declare my love worry about my future instead.

Or why do you care that I smoke marijuana so much? You have never been there for me when I was going through chemotherapy and could barely choke down a protein shake. You don’t understand how smoking marijuana helps with my panic disorder so I can have some peace in my soul for a little while. And isn’t it a little hypocritical how you never tell me not to have a beer when I want to have a good time but you are so worried about marijuana. The alcohol is probably worse for me. It all seems so arbitrary especially since we have never met.

And I don’t understand why you won’t let me decide if its time for me to die. I am not trying to play God. It’s modern medicine that is trying to play God by taking away death. Instead, I just want to have life take its course in a comfortable and dignified manner. I just want to choose to be comfortable and pass away. I know my family and friends will be crushed when I tell them but they will understand. They understand I would not want to be a vegetable. They don’t want to watch me suffer and waste away. It’s not like you plan to come to my hospital room and hold my hand even when it seems I am not conscious of your presence. You don’t even know me, how could you possibly understand what I want? Yet, you are so worried about me having a choice.

We all live in a society together and some laws are made to ensure our time together is as peaceful as possible. And there are consequences when that peace is broke. But I don’t understand why everyone wants to dictate my private life, the choices I make in my own life. I am an adult; I can make some choices for myself. Determine if I want to eat unhealthy or love another. And yet all of these strangers claim to care about me. Worry about me.

Honestly, I have plenty of people who worry about me and care. Why don’t you worry about your friends and family? I just don’t want you to care so much. Thanks anyway.

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~ by fortuitousoccurances on July 23, 2009.

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