On Feet

I hated feet for a long time.

I did not want other peoples’ feet to touch me. And I did not want anyone touching my feet. The portion of the U2 Numb video where there are feet all over The Edge’s face was my worst nightmare.

I dated a guy in college who liked to irritate me by touching my feet randomly. I usually retaliated by kicking him or shrieking. He pointed out everyone had feet. He asked if I would prefer to have my feet replaced with wheels. Which if you think about it, would be kind of nice.

I cannot pinpoint what about feet disturb me so much. They smell badly often and a lot of people no matter how attractive they are otherwise have extremely disfigured and malformed feet.

For example, my toes are curled in like I failed at having my feet bound. My mom has the same curled toes. She said she used to think her toes were curled due to her parents buying her shoes that were too small, only to realized when she saw my tiny curled in toes that it was a genetic issue.

I believe these many things combine to make feet the unclean and unwholesome part of the human anatomy.

The thing I find most amazing is so much of people’s bodies are interesting, exciting or attractive no matter the person. For example, have you ever really looked at someone’s ear? It’s so interesting, it merges form and function to make an appendage that is both attractive and useful. But a foot, is neither interesting nor beautiful. It’s the one part of the body that is pure function with no form. A padded stump with grasping, gnarled sprouts.

I know that there is a whole portion of the population that disagree as evidenced by a cursory search on the internet. However, in my mind those people are obviously depraved individuals who ought to sit down with a shrink sooner rather than later.

I admit as I have gotten older, and ceased dating foot grabbing maniacs, I have gotten more lax in my foot phobia. On occasion I will allow my husband will rub my feet. And I will tentatively touch his feet with a single finger for a whole second before I lurch away, frothing at the mouth. But that does not mean my distain for feet has lessened just my resolve to avoid them.


~ by fortuitousoccurances on December 17, 2008.

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